What's your mindset?

It's been awhile since I've written anything, but I've recently been feeling the tug to get back in to it. The only problem I've had is... how? What do I even write about? Literally nothing has been coming to mind. Then I remembered my first actual blog post, "Sh*t, Now what?" Do you guys remember that one? It's where I said, and I quote, "it doesn’t matter how you get started… as long as you GET started." And there it is. It doesn't matter what I write about as long as I sit down and write.

The last 2 months I've set aside my normal fiction reading and have been hyper focused on reading self- growth/ self-improvement /spiritually enlightening books. With a temporary dive in my mental health; due to uncontrollable circumstances, this was one of the things that I could both control and commit to- reading books that help. And while none of them magically made everything bright and sunny, they did take the edge off and help me maintain some perspective.

One of the things that was repeatedly touched on throughout several of the books was our mindset. What is our mindset? What type of mindset do we personally carry? And why the fluff does it even matter? I'm glad you asked. Let me share with you what I've learned, and you can take it for what it is, the word of a 37 year old woman with zero educational background in psychology. <Insert laughing emoji here.>

From where I stand there are two types of mindsets. The first is the fixed mindset. The second is the growth mindset. What do I mean when I say mindset? Well, I'm talking about our core attitude. Our habitual, mental attitudes. The thing that determines how we will interpret and respond to different situations. Our mindset is made up of three separate components: Emotional (How the thing makes us feel), Cognitive (Our thoughts and beliefs about the thing), and behavioral (How the thing influences our behavior).

Now that we know what a mindset is let's focus on the two different types, fixed and growth, and why they matter. A fixed mindset is the belief that your basic qualities, such as your intelligence and talents, is permanent. It's the belief that "This is how good I am at this thing and that's all there is to it. I can't get better at it or change it." A growth mindset is the opposite. It is the belief that your basic qualities can be changed or developed.

A fixed mindset may look or sound like this: "Failure is the limit of my abilities. Either I am good at it, or I am not. Effort means I am not good at it. I stick to what is known. Feedback is criticism." Whereas a growth mindset may look or sound like this: "Failure is an opportunity to grow. Effort and persistence is the way to grow abilities. I like to try new things. Feedback is constructive/helpful."

Why does this matter? Because when life gets hard, like it did for me the last couple of months, it's important to be able to grasp on to hope. Hope that things will improve. Hope that things will change. Hope that I won't feel this sad or this depressed or this grief or this <insert negative emotion here> forever. But if I have a fixed mindset? That hope is going to feel a hell of a lot further away than it should. With a growth mindset comes the ability to hope for more, hope for better, hope for improvement and change.

"But Mandy, if I have a fixed mindset already how can I possibly develop a growth mindset, because that requires growth!?" I'm glad you asked. Practice. It takes practice. It takes dedication. And it takes grace. Most importantly, it takes grace. Because changing an outlook you've carried most likely your entire life isn't going to happen overnight. And you're going to slip up and fall back to old patterns time and time again. You have to be willing to stop and say, "Ope, that was my old mindset reacting. That's my bad. It's okay. I'll try again. Life happens." and then continue to try.

It's in my opinion that one of the best ways to work on developing a growth mindset is by believing there are two ends to everything. Opposites to all, if you will. If I'm trying to become a better writer, for example, but I've been struggling and I feel as though "this is it. I'm never going to be any better than what I am right now." That is the fixed mindset speaking. So I need to stop, take a breath and ask myself, what's the opposite truth of this? If on one end I am never going to get better, what's the other end of this? The other end is that I will continue to improve and become an incredible writer. That's a growth mindset.

It's all about our beliefs. We have to train ourselves to believe that we are capable of growing, because believe me, we are. We weren't put on this earth to sit stagnantly believing we are incapable of more. We need to fight every day to develop that positive growth mindset so that it eventually becomes second nature to us. Because when sh*t gets dark we will need that mindset to help guide us through it.

You are capable. I promise you, you are.

That's the end of my rant for today. Was it great? No. But did I sit down and write something? I sure did. And will I continue to keep picking up my pen or tapping on my keyboard until I become the writer I want to be? I sure hope so. Because I can grow, and so can you.

Til next time...

-M. Flugum