Self-Care is Self-Preservation

Over the last few years we have seen a dramatic rise in the discussion of self-care and its importance. Generations before us burned themselves out focusing only on how to make others happy whereas the newer generations have placed high value on the need to make themselves happy first. One of the most popular quotes I see floating around is “You can’t pour from an empty cup.” So what is self-care, what is it not and why does it matter?

(1) “Self-care is the practice of taking action to preserve or improve one’s own health” (oxford dictionary)

(2) “Self-care is the practice of taking an active role in protecting one’s own well-being and happiness, in particular during periods of stress.” (oxford dictionary)

Self-care is more or less taking mindful time to pay attention to your own needs and making sure they’re being met properly. It’s essential in creating and keeping a healthy relationship with your own self. It’s how we boost our confidence and our self-esteem. And it’s part of how we grow and continue growing and bettering ourselves.

Self-care is not selfish or something we force ourselves to do. It doesn’t just have personal positive properties, but it also benefits those around us. When we take care of ourselves and make sure our needs are met and our stress is low- we are better able to meet the needs of those around us. Thus, making our own self-care a multi beneficial and rewarding lifestyle for all involved with us in our daily lives.

In order for self-care to benefit us we have to remember that it’s not something we force ourselves to do. It’s supposed to be enjoyable. If jogging every morning or praying every evening is something you detest- then those activities are not going to count as self-care towards yourself. Psychology Today has an article about some of the most beneficial forms of self-care. I’m not going to cover everything they listed, but I am going to list some of the ones that I agree are the most important forms of taking care of oneself.

1) Know who you are and know your limits. Boundaries are so important. They protect us from being used or made to feel like our opinions/beliefs/wants don’t matter. When you know who you are and what’s important to you it will be easier for you to say, “no” to things that don’t fall in to line with that.

2) Meeting your basic needs. Are you getting enough sleep? Maintaining a well-balanced diet? Exercising regularly? Keeping up to date with regular health care appointments? These basic necessities are far more valuable in your overall wellbeing than you realize. Be mindful of them and make changes to make sure you’re meeting those needs daily.

3) Find ways to decompress throughout the day. These need to be small, short-timed things you can do to re-center yourself. Whether escaping work on your lunch break to go for a short walk, meditating quietly for a few minutes, taking a short reading break- or whatever works for YOU. Figure that out and apply it daily. This requires being mindful and reminding yourself, “Oh yes- it’s time to decompress and re-center for a moment.”

4) If you’re able to- change any environments that are stressing you out. I’m not saying quit your job and take a 6 month long hiatus. I am saying, if your work load is wearing you out and you’re able to trim a few hours off of one day a week- do that. Or if your work environment is stressing you out, maybe it’s time to look in to other fields or businesses. Or maybe you’re in a relationship that you consistently feel unhappy and stressed out with. How can you change that? What can you do to remedy the situation? Take time to figure out what parts of your life are stressing you out and why and then figure out a way that you can change that.

5) Make time for yourself. Some of us have very busy lives, but all of us have the ability to carve out at least 20 minutes a day for ourselves. Take those 20 minutes and spend focusing on you. Spend it figuring out who you are and what you need to be happy and more relaxed. And then start doing those things. Make those things part of your daily routine.

Self-care matters because you matter. Your needs and health is important. When you take care of those needs you are giving yourself the best opportunity to become the best version of yourself. And what happens when you are the best version of yourself? You are better able and qualified to give to the people around you. Self-care, when done properly, is not just an act of love for yourself, but an act of love for those you care about.

Always remember: Self-care is not selfish. It’s important and necessary to remind ourselves and others that our needs are equally important.